How Powerful Are You?

At startups we often eschew the notion of politics and power. However, it is an inescapable reality of living as the social creatures we are. As I set on a class on exactly this topic: Power and Influence the professor highlighted the best yardstick for power I’ve heard to date:

Who comes to me for advice?

This metric is particularly effective because it neatly captures both dimensions of trust – Competence and Character.  In order to trust someone’s advice you need to believe in their competence (they will provide you with good data) and their character (they have your best interests at heard.  One without the other (ill intentioned intelligence or well intentioned ignorance) is misleading at best.

Take a couple minutes to map our who trusts you. By these metrics what does your network look like?  How powerful are you?  And, most importantly, how do the people in your circle of trust map to your needs in the relationship (top) row of the Framework for Happiness?

Book Report: Click

Ever wonders what makes people click?  Brothers Ori and Rom Brafman tackle this timeless question (well!) in their new book Click.

They cite five primary factors that make people ‘click’:

1. Vulnerability.  While certainly not a risk-free activity, sharing a personal vulnerability is an immediate way to appear authentic (you are placing truth over pride) and confer trust.
2. Proximity.  Most relationships (personal or professional) are dictated by distance.  Be where the people you want to meet are.
3. Resonance.  Sympathize with your audience and communicate your authentic understanding of them and their situation.
4. Similarity.  The shocker here was volume trumps quality.  People are more likely to perceive more closeness with another that shares a number of trivial similarities (same hometown, birthday, favorite ice cream) than a singe large one (career choice).  While counter-intuitive to me, I can understand how the discovery of each new (even trivial) similarities is a cue that re-enforces your bond each time it occurs.
5. Safe Place. This can be determined by frame (we are the most similar people in this room) or by a common adversary (we’re in it together!).

So if most of these factors are pre-determined what is one to do to improve the situation?  Of the many ideas outlined my takeaways were:

• Personal Elevation.  The vast majority of people have a complimentary person.  Be it personal or professional, there are people out there that make you more than the sum of your parts.  Find them.
• Modulate expression.  The ability to match your expression to the common level of the group demonstrates a strong awareness and creates comfort (see similarity).
• Be the Hub.  Helping people meet is the most powerful way to meet others yourself.  There are always those that are at the center of communications.  If nothing else, identify the hubs in your life!

While I approach many of these pop-psychology books with a healthy does (or two) of skepticism, Click really delivered on some intuitive observations followed by quite a few actionable recommendations.

All the factors that make you Click are current.  It will align your present selves, but not your future goals. I think of the aspects of Click as an emotional fit (heart) – don’t forget about the intellectual fit (head)!